you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
