What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You made out with two different species that night
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
