I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
