You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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