too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
