Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
