How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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