I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Randomize
