Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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