Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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