i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
