i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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