Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize