dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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