I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Randomize
