At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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