stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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