The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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