I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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