shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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