think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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