Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
