Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
