I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
