What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
