so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
