My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
