Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize