i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
