Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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