I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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