My room smells like vodka and shame
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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