Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
