he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
