One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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