I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just gift wrapped bread.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
