So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
