..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
