literally had 100 drinks last night.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
