ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
