After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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