My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
