Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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