Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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