this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
