I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
