I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
