Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
