there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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