I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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