Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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