He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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