I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
