I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
