I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
