dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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