I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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