is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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