hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I want to be your penis for a week.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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