I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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