I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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