It's Friday. Sex?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
