Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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